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Miss Manners: We were seated with a very uncouth man. How could we have escaped?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: As you are likely aware, strangers commonly share tables at Japanese hibachi restaurants.
One time, my wife and I were seated at a hibachi table with a very strange and uncouth man, his date and her two uncomfortable tween daughters. It was immediately obvious to both of us that this group would be unpleasant company, but we knew of no graceful way to decline to be seated with them.
We ate quickly and without enjoyment, and left as soon as we could.
Short of suddenly inventing an emergency and leaving the restaurant, is there any good way to avoid bad hibachi tablemates?
GENTLE READER: Like picking the restaurant itself, the time to make your decision is before you begin eating.
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This requires a quick — and therefore possibly incomplete or incorrect — assessment of your fellow diners. (You may not, for example, have immediately realized that the four were not a family.)
Fortunately, mistakes will be mitigated by the fact that Miss Manners would not have you do anything insulting. Having decided that this group is not for you, ask the server if you can be seated closer to the window — or the door, or really anything.
Even if the server, or one of the tweens, understands your real motivation, they will have no tangible reason to take offense.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: I visited my brother and sister-in-law with my husband and our two young children. Upon arrival, my sister-in-law was sick in bed, and apparently had been for two days prior.
Although she did not leave her room while we were there, I was upset I was not informed before staying in her home.
To add to the situation, her younger daughter was also sick. My brother originally told me it was allergies, but later said she had a cold (and my children stayed in her room that evening).
Is what they did considered rude/inconsiderate? I would have gladly rented a hotel room if I had known, but I wasn’t given that opportunity, and my husband felt it would be rude if we left. It really put me in an awkward situation. It has only been a couple of days since we left, and so far we are all still healthy, thank goodness.
GENTLE READER: That is a relief.
Although entirely rational, it does seem rude to run screaming from your relatives’ home for fear that they will infect you. But this rule can only be upheld so long as the contagious assume responsibility for protecting everyone else.
Your brother or sister-in-law should absolutely have warned you — and tried to help mitigate the situation, whether that meant renting a hotel room for your family or agreeing to postpone the visit.
As Miss Manners fears that conspicuously washing everything you touch is not endearing, she would have recommended that you decamped to a hotel — not, you would explain, out of fear for yourselves, but so that your poor sister-in-law could have some quiet in which to recover.
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Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
Dear Abby: What does it mean that my boyfriend looks at his mom’s butt?
DEAR ABBY: I have caught my boyfriend looking at his mom’s rear end more than once.
She sometimes walks around the house in tight-fitting booty shorts that are so short you can see part of her butt. Sometimes he actually stares, which I find extremely disturbing.
I’m not sure what to do. I have even thought about breaking up with him.
We usually hang out at my house, but whenever we spend time at his house and his mom wears short shorts, I catch him. Please advise me on this.
CAN’T UNSEE THIS
DEAR CAN’T UNSEE: Have you talked with your boyfriend about your observation? If you haven’t, you should. If you are seriously worried that he’s lusting after his mother, you should absolutely end the romance. No ifs, ands or butts.
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DEAR ABBY: My younger sister, “Fern,” gave birth to a son three months ago. Since she returned to work, it seems like all she does is dump her baby, “Ricky,” on others so she can sleep with her special someone.
I watched Ricky a couple of times while they ran errands, even though they have someone living with them to keep an eye on the baby.
Fern works nights and her S.O. works days, but all I hear is that Ricky is getting watched by someone else. She’s always in the parking lot at work 30 minutes before we open although she lives nearby. She also volunteers for extra work as often as she can.
She has struggled with mental health and alcohol abuse, so I’m worried she may have postpartum depression.
I want Ricky to be safe, and I’d love for them to have a healthy bond. From the things she says, I’m worried they don’t.
I know for some moms it takes time, but she wasn’t excited about her pregnancy or about giving birth. She’s a first-time mom, so maybe I’m not giving her a chance. Am I just a nosy aunt, or is this normal?
AUNT IN THE SOUTH
DEAR AUNT IN THE SOUTH: While Fern’s parenting style isn’t the same as yours, from what you have written, she and her significant other are making sure Ricky is cared for in their absence.
This is why I think the answer to your question is yes, you are being a nosy aunt.
DEAR ABBY: Should vehicle charging be provided as an amenity to an overnight houseguest?
When my relatives visit our vacation home, they have gotten into the habit of plugging in their hybrid vehicles when they arrive. They live only an hour away and don’t need the additional range to return home.
Their vehicles can cost about $30 to charge.
Are they taking advantage of our hospitality, or is this the cost of having the company?
UNSURE IN CALIFORNIA
DEAR UNSURE: Does this happen regularly? If the answer is yes, and the cost of the electricity creates a burden for you, speak up and ask your guests to stop or compensate you. However, if it doesn’t, then I would consider it a part of the hospitality I have extended.
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Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Olson comes back to haunt the A’s as Oakland falls in 10-9
By JANIE McCAULEY
OAKLAND, Calif. (AP) — When their ace struggled, the Atlanta Braves kept slugging — right back into first place after all these months chasing the Mets.
Matt Olson hit a three-run homer against his former club and the Braves won their sixth in a row, outswinging the Oakland Athletics 10-9 on Tuesday night and finally catching New York atop the NL East.
The reigning World Series champion Braves (85-51) pulled even with a slumping Mets team that had held sole possession of the division lead for 147 days since April 12 but has lost three straight.
“It’s where you want to be, you’d rather be here than somewhere else,” manager Brian Snitker said. “You want to be in the thick of the thing. I’ve always said, even when I was a third base coach, it’s like you love that time of the year when you wake up, get a cup of coffee and you can’t wait to get to the ballpark because you want to play the next game. That’s a good place to be.”
Major league wins leader Kyle Wright surrendered a career-high eight runs to the A’s. His team held tough, just as has been the case so many times in 2022.
“I feel like this game was kind of a perfect example of that,” Wright said. “I struggled pretty bad but these guys picked me up. The offense was great, defense was great, the bullpen was incredible to finish that game with a one-run lead the whole time. It could’ve been way more than that. That game right there was a huge testament to the team as a whole and how we do a good job of picking each other up.”
Wright had won four straight starts, boosting his record to 17-5. With the temperature an unseasonably warm 86 degrees at game time during California’s heat wave, baseballs flew from first pitch.
Wright’s career-best scoreless innings streak ended at 15 dating to June 19 against the Astros when he gave up an RBI groundout to Sean Murphy in the first.
“It happens and he’ll regroup,” Snitker said.
Murphy and Seth Brown hit back-to-back homers in the third. Chad Pinder hit a three-run homer in the fifth to tie it at 9-all. It was his franchise-record sixth career pinch-hit homer.
The Braves had been 0-9 previously this year when giving up nine or more runs.
“We hadn’t had one of those in a while, so it was good to see the guys keep fighting, keep scoring,” Snitker said.
Olson returned to Oakland for the first time since the Braves acquired the slugging first baseman from the A’s in March. He received cheers when he stepped into the batter’s box in the first inning.
Another ex-A’s player, Jesse Chavez (3-1), pitched 1 1/3 innings for the win and Kenley Jansen finished for his majors-best 32nd save.
A’s lefty Cole Irvin was tagged for a career-high nine runs over 4 2/3 innings.
Marcell Ozuna added a two-run single in the Braves’ three-run fifth. Austin Riley hit a go-ahead sacrifice fly in the sixth off Joel Payamps (3-4).
STREAKING
The Braves have won 10 straight against the A’s after a two-game sweep in Atlanta from June 7-8. The club has 10-game winning streaks versus a single club only four other times since 1990 — beating the Rockies in 16 straight from 1993-94, the Giants in 12 in a row and Marlins in 11 consecutive both in ’94-95 and Houston over 10 straight in 1991.
FUN MEMORY
Snitker was coaching third base for the Braves when now-A’s manager Mark Kotsay hit for the cycle on Aug. 14, 2008, against the Cubs, also Tom Glavine’s final career start.
“He slid into third to hit for the cycle and I didn’t even realize it,” Snitker said. “He’s just awesome, I love Kots.”
TRAINER’S ROOM
Braves: RHP Jake Odorizzi was expected to go through some work on the field as he prepares for his next outing after being scratched Saturday because of arm fatigue. Snitker is hopeful Odorizzi will be ready and healthy to make a start this weekend in Seattle.
Athletics: CF Ramón Laureano came off the injured list from a strained left oblique that sidelined him Aug. 15. Laureano will play both center and right field. … Oakland also recalled RHP Tyler Cyr from Triple-A Las Vegas.
UP NEXT
RHP Spencer Strider (9-4, 2.67 ERA) pitches the afternoon series finale Wednesday trying to win his third straight start and fourth consecutive decision. … For the A’s, LHP Ken Waldichuk (0-0, 1.93) makes his second career start after a no-decision in his major league debut last Thursday at Washington after being called up from Triple-A Las Vegas.
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