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Miss Manners: They stormed off and forgot the cooler. How long do I have to keep it?
DEAR MISS MANNERS: How long does one need to keep something that is left behind at your house and ensure it’s in the same condition when returned?
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I’ve made repeated attempts to get them to come get it, as I cannot drive due to medical conditions.
I do not have a garage, so I kept it inside my home for a long time. The owner eventually said to leave it outside and they will get it when they can. Well, it’s covered in pollen and sometimes collects rain, so I keep having to clean it.
Do I even have a responsibility to make sure it is returned in good condition when I have tried to return it?
GENTLE READER: Once you have asked that the item be reclaimed, the item — and also the person to whom it belongs — is on a deadline.
The length of that deadline will depend on the value of the item to the owner, how much of an imposition it is on you to store it, and your relationship to the owner — any of which may change over time.
Although Miss Manners does not limit the value of an item to its monetary value, she presumes that a cooler can have little sentimental value, and that it takes up space. As your fondness for the owner diminishes, so, too, may the cleanings.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: It appears that servers at casual-dining establishments are not trained to remove trash from tables.
Every time I dine at one, my companions and I are soon faced with a pile of trash on the table and no place to put it: paper straw wrappers, creamer cups, used sugar packets and the sticky papers that are used in place of napkin rings.
Either I gather up this debris and dispose of it at the hostess stand or in the restroom, or it sits there the entire meal.
Yes, I can ask the server to take it, but I feel awkward holding onto small handfuls of trash and handing them to a server.
What does Miss Manners advise? Am I doomed to look at trash for my entire meal?
GENTLE READER: Although the availability of non-casual dining declines every day, Miss Manners would like to believe that there is limited overlap between restaurants with paper napkins and those that employ roving waitstaff.
As she waits for it to disappear entirely (the use of paper napkins, not formal dining), she has no objection to your pushing the detritus into a neat pile under the shade of the artificial floral centerpiece.
DEAR MISS MANNERS: While sharing a vacation home with another couple, I offered to cook a special meal. Everyone agreed to this. My wife and I were the guests of the other (more affluent) couple.
When it was about time to prepare the meal, all of the others, including my wife, crowded the kitchen and made snacks for themselves. Was it wrong for me to be offended by this behavior, and what should I have said?
GENTLE READER: “Begone! You must give the chef room to create!”
Please send your questions to Miss Manners at her website, www.missmanners.com; to her email, dearmissmanners@gmail.com; or through postal mail to Miss Manners, Andrews McMeel Syndication, 1130 Walnut St., Kansas City, MO 64106.
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Dear Abby: She caused me so much pain, and now she wants back in my life
DEAR ABBY: When I was in middle school, my mother made many poor decisions that culminated in her incarceration and a rather unpleasant boyfriend.
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Now that I have kids of my own, I feel I have more perspective on my mother’s choices — and it’s not a flattering picture.
Hearing about the poor decisions she continues to make gets me so upset that a phone call leaves me reeling for a couple days, if not weeks. I have reached the point where I can no longer maintain a relationship with her, so I have gone radio silent.
She has been reaching out for months, apologizing to me and begging for contact. When I get those messages, my heart drops. I know how painful it is when someone walks away, especially a family member. But I can’t listen to her anymore.
How can I express this to her? I want to handle this with grace, but I just want to cry.
— SILENT DAUGHTER IN SOUTH CAROLINA
DEAR DAUGHTER: The “graceful” (and kinder) way to deal with your mother would be to end the radio silence and tell her the truth.
Explain that she has missed all the significant milestones in your life, and you are unable to deal with the mess she has made of hers. This is why you prefer she no longer call or try to make contact.
You can’t fix her, and she can’t change the past. Your mental health is important, and it is all right to move on.
DEAR ABBY: I have been married for 15 years to a man I’ll call “Ed.” We are seniors, but he is 17 years older than I am. I have three children from a previous marriage who are grown and on their own.
I think my husband is gay but never came out of the closet. He watches gay porn and once confessed to me he had a fantasy about another man. For the last 10 years, he has refused to have sex and is always making excuses (“I’m old,” “I’m tired,” “Tomorrow”).
Abby, I crave love and intimacy. Ed is cold, distant and a loner. He refuses to travel or do anything for fun. He’s well-off financially, never had kids and is a good provider. However, that is all he does.
I want to leave him, but I feel guilty because of his age and because he has been a responsible provider over the years. I love him as a person, but not as a husband. Please advise.
— DEPRESSED AND STUCK IN PENNSYLVANIA
DEAR D & S: There is more to marriage than sex. There is supposed to be communication, affection, mutual respect, understanding and compassion for each other. From what you have written, you have none of those.
Address this with Ed before you freeze to death. Ask him if marriage counseling would help him to better understand your needs.
If he refuses, and all you get out of this marriage is access to his money, make an appointment with an attorney to discuss what your rights may be in the “equitable distribution” state of Pennsylvania after a 15-year marriage. After that, you will have a better idea of what to do.
Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.
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Single family residence in Dublin sells for $1.6 million

A 2,220-square-foot house built in 1964 has changed hands. The spacious property located in the 7200 block of Hansen Drive in Dublin was sold on July 31, 2023, for $1,580,000, or $712 per square foot. This two-story house provides a generous living space with its five bedrooms and three bathrooms. In addition, the home features a garage.
Additional houses that have recently been sold close by include:
- A 2,220-square-foot home on the 11600 block of Manzanita Lane in Dublin sold in July 2023, for $1,485,000, a price per square foot of $669. The home has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.
- On Manzanita Lane, Dublin, in August 2022, a 2,220-square-foot home was sold for $1,575,000, a price per square foot of $709. The home has 5 bedrooms and 3 bathrooms.
- In January 2023, a 2,583-square-foot home on Silvergate Drive in Dublin sold for $1,458,000, a price per square foot of $564. The home has 3 bedrooms and 2 bathrooms.
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Hollister man killed in crash near municipal airport
HOLLISTER – A 31-year-old Hollister man was killed in a crash over the weekend near the Hollister Municipal Airport, authorities said.
The two-car collision happened around 10:15 p.m. Sunday at the intersection of State Route 156 and San Felipe Road, according to the California Highway Patrol.
The man was driving a 2016 Honda Civic southbound on San Felipe Road and did not stop for a red light, the CHP said. As he traveled through the intersection, he was hit by a 56-year-old Gonzales man driving a 2001 Kia Spectra westbound on the highway.
The Honda driver died of his injuries at the scene, according to the CHP. The San Benito County Coroner’s Office will release his identity once it is confirmed and his next of kin is notified.
The other driver suffered a cut to his left hand, the CHP said.
As of Tuesday, the CHP did not know if alcohol or drugs played a role in the crash.
Anyone with information related to the case can contact the CHP Hollister-Gilroy area office at 408-427-0700.
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Check back for updates.
Blackwood has shaky start, but settles down in San Jose Sharks debut
SAN JOSE – Goalie Mackenzie Blackwood’s first few minutes with the San Jose Sharks didn’t go as planned.
Blackwood allowed three goals on the first six shots he faced in what became a 4-2 loss to the Anaheim Ducks on Tuesday in the second game of the preseason for both teams.
Blackwood and the Sharks gave up goals to Brett Leason and Olen Zellweger at the 7:26 and 8:08 marks, respectively, of the first period. Leason finished off a Ducks 2-on-1 after the Sharks turned the puck over in the neutral zone, and a shot by Zellweger from just inside the blue line found its way past a screened Blackwood for a 2-0 Anaheim lead.
Former Sharks forward Andrew Agozzino scored a power-play goal at the 12:28 mark of the opening frame, collecting a loose puck after it bounced off the back wall and beating Blackwood, who was perfect the rest of the way and finished with 21 saves.
Forward William Eklund and defenseman Marc-Edouard Vlasic scored the Sharks’ only goals.
Eklund one-timed a pass from defenseman Shakir Mukhamadullin past Ducks goalie Alex Stalock on a 4-on-3 San Jose man advantage at the 7:23 mark of the second period.
Vlasic’s goal came at the 3:23 mark of the third period, as he came down on a 2-on-1 and fired a wrist shot past Stalock. Vlasic, 36, is entering his 18th season in a Sharks uniform and is second on the team’s all-time games played list with 1,239. Patrick Marleau is first with 1,607.
Center Mikael Granlund was initially slated to play Tuesday but was scratched from the game for unknown reasons prior to the 7 p.m. faceoff.
Now in his third training camp with the Sharks, Eklund is hoping to start the season in the NHL after he spent most of last year with the Barracuda.
Eklund, selected seventh overall by San Jose in the 2021 NHL Draft, had 42 points in 54 AHL games last season before he suffered a torn labrum in his left shoulder on a hit during a game in Colorado on March 22, ending his season.
Blackwood, 26, was acquired in late June from the New Jersey Devils for a 2023 sixth-round draft, and promptly signed by the Sharks to a two-year, $4.7 million extension.
After Blackwood battled injuries and some inconsistent play over the last two seasons, the Sharks are hoping the 26-year-old can regain the form he showed in his first three NHL seasons when he went a combined 46-41-12 with a .911 save percentage and 2.83 goals against average in 105 games.
The Sharks and Ducks play again Wednesday night in Anaheim.
SF Giants shut out by Padres, on brink of postseason elimination
SAN FRANCISCO — Kyle Harrison was scratched minutes before his scheduled start, but his replacements filled in nicely to give the Giants a chance at a win on Tuesday night. But the offense didn’t show in a 4-0 loss to the San Diego Padres.
With the loss, slim postseason pipe dreams have been reduced to a near impossibility with four games remaining on the schedule and one loss separating official elimination. They play the Padres once more before a three-game series against the Los Angeles Dodgers to close a disappointing season.
This loss was ugly. Padres starter Seth Lugo gave up just two hits heading into the ninth as he vied for his first career complete game — but manager Bob Melvin pulled him two outs into the ninth after Luis Matos drew a walk and Thairo Estrada reached on a ground ball. Closer Josh Hader struck out Wilmer Flores to end the game.
One of their three hits against Lugo came at a cost. J.D. Davis’ doubled off the wall and tried to stretch it to a three-bagger when right fielder Fernando Tatis Jr. bobbled the ball, but Tatis’ relay to Kim was quick and Davis overshot third base and was tagged out.
Davis rolled over his shoulder awkwardly and was removed from the game.
John Brebbia started as the opener in Harrison’s place and gave up a two-out solo home run to Juan Soto in the first inning. Alex Wood came in as the featured pitcher and ran into trouble in the third inning, first allowing a single to Brett Sullivan.
Wood fell awkwardly trying to scoop up a check-swing ground ball by Xander Boegarts that resulted in a hit to put runners on the corners with one out. Second baseman Thairo Estrada’s throwing error on Ha-Seong Kim’s grounder scored Sullivan to make it 2-0.
Soto hit his second home run of the game off Ryan Walker, a two-run shot to make it 4-0.