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Biting the hand that feeds IT — Enterprise Technology News and Analysis
Updated: 6 min 16 sec ago

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Would I lie to you, Boss?

Fri, 07/15/2022 - 02:15
Are they going to search your personal laptop? Maybe. The main thing is not to panic...

Episode 13  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsThere's a bit of a panic on at Mission Control.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

Fri, 06/24/2022 - 02:15
If you step outside, you'll find the unicycle for the practical test

Episode 12  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo the Boss has quit and we have to replace him.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

Fri, 06/17/2022 - 01:48
We're going to need a corkboard, push pins, red yarn and emails dating back to 2003

Episode 11  The Boss is – not to put too fine a spin on it – crapping himself.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?

Fri, 05/27/2022 - 02:15
Did that printer service person just sell you 10 overpriced boxes of the wrong paper?

Episode 10  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt is a great morning! The phone has not rung once (and not because the PFY has rebooted the phone server with a DBAN USB stick in it again), the aircon and security system are behaving, and outside the sun is shini-…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You'll have to really trust me on this team-building exercise

Fri, 05/13/2022 - 02:26
Why shouldn't the stairwell be the preferred location for our fun?

Episode 9  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo I get into the office and immediately I sense a disturbance in the natural order of things – mainly the jarring combination of too much aftershave and an overdose of enthusiasm.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Something's consuming 40% of UPS capacity – and it's coming from the beancounters' office

Fri, 04/29/2022 - 01:30
Under-desk heaters, two small fridges, an entire kitchenette...

Episode 8  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's completely dark in the server room and the building is dead silent.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The evil guide to upgrading switches

Thu, 04/14/2022 - 03:00
Choose your own adventure! Who will win: the Boss or the IT admins? B or B

Episode 7  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's five in the morning and the PFY's at Mission Control making a few changes.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Putting the gross in gross insubordination

Fri, 03/25/2022 - 02:30
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of 100 battles

Episode 6  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's a law as old as the jungle itself: there comes a time when a young lion will desire the pride-leader's role for himself.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Gaming rig for your home office? Yeah right

Fri, 03/11/2022 - 01:30
Choose your fighter. BLINK BLINK. It's your friendly operator here …

Episode 5  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns"Hello?" an unenthusiastic voice intones.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: All hail the job cuts consultant

Fri, 02/25/2022 - 02:40
Who is that dashing, mysterious caller that has the Boss sweating so profusely on the Zoom?

Episode 4  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo the PFY and I are hanging around the boardroom because the Board's Zoom call keeps cutting out.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The Geek's Countergambit – outwitted at an electronics store

Fri, 02/11/2022 - 02:15
So top secret even the manufacturer doesn't know about it

Episode 3  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: On Wednesdays, we wear gloves

Fri, 01/28/2022 - 01:30
In which Simon meets the new accountant

Episode 2  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: What a beautiful classic car. Shame if anything were to happen to it

Fri, 01/21/2022 - 02:32
And look, your COVID pass is all melted...

Episode 1  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns There's been a fire.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The vengeance bus is coming, and everybody's jumping. An Xmas bonus hits me…

Fri, 12/24/2021 - 03:40
… and Turing's going to miss me …

Episode 23  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt wouldn't be Christmas without the smell of chestnuts on an open fire and the sound of carols in the air ……

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Time to put the Pretty Dumb F in PDF reader

Fri, 12/10/2021 - 01:15
Thanks for the support. Oh … that's us, is it?

Episode 22  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsNggggggggaaargh!…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: What if International Bad Actors designed the vaccine to make us watch more Steven Seagal movies?

Fri, 11/26/2021 - 01:30
Pipe down – Nicolas Cage could be listening

Episode 21  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsI've got nothing against conspiracy theories in general because if they didn't exist the PFY would probably have to join a book club or a sewing circle. But even the PFY will admit there's a limit, and at lunch today we think we found it ...…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You drive me crazy... and I can't help myself

Fri, 11/12/2021 - 01:15
Service provider? You sure about that second bit?

Episode 20  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns>knock< <knock<…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: So you want to have your computer switched out for something faster? It's time to learn from the master

Fri, 10/22/2021 - 01:27
Corporate will make you jump through hoops – but there's always a window

Episode 19  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns"It's just … so slow," my user complains.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You. Wouldn't. Put. A. Test. Machine. Into. Production. Without. Telling. Us.

Fri, 10/08/2021 - 02:15
Right, Mr Beancounter?

Episode 18  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsA lesson I learned a long time ago was: never let a user buy a server.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You'll find there's a company asset tag right here, underneath the monstrously heavy arcade machine

Fri, 09/24/2021 - 01:30
Flame purifies all

Episode 17  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's barely 9am and we're all standing outside while the fire brigade inspects the premises for the source of the fire.…

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