Subscribe to BOFH feed
Biting the hand that feeds IT — Enterprise Technology News and Analysis
Updated: 11 min 53 sec ago

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: We're an industry leader … in employing idiot managers

Fri, 11/18/2022 - 03:30
Actually, strike the second part …

Episode 22  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "It'll be a major renovation!" the Boss says excitedly. "We're going to use the best of breed technologies to create a showcase work environment."…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Don't be nervous, Mr Consultant. Come right this way …

Fri, 11/11/2022 - 01:25
Simon and the PFY take a closer look at a 'routine' data translation costs bill

Episode 21  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns"Simon, Stephen, this is Gerard, Daniel, David and, uhhh, Karl."…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: I know of a small biz that could deliver nothing for a fraction of the cost

Fri, 10/28/2022 - 02:29
Say! They're right here in the room! Fancy that!

Episode 20  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsI've just spent two days reading a RFP responses for a project destined to die a horrible and undignified death. The worst part is that the project is funded from the infrastructure budget, which means that the longer it takes to deep-six it, the more cash will be burned in the RFP process.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The Boss has a new watch – move readiness to DEFCON 2

Fri, 10/14/2022 - 03:26
Let us show you some pointless technology of our own

Episode 19  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsI'm standing in the queue at the cafeteria when the Boss holds up his hand and says: "Check this out!"…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You want presentation layer, but we're physical layer

Fri, 09/23/2022 - 03:29
Or How to Philosophize with a Hammer

Episode 18  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsThere's been a complaint. I know – color me surprised.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: It's Friday, it's time to RTFM

Fri, 09/09/2022 - 01:30
What's that, Simon? Rich Text Format?

Episode 17  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "Just wanting to know if you've got the answers to the RFIs on our RFP – as we need them ASAP," the Boss says, practicing his acronyms.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr> and the case of the disappearing teaspoons

Fri, 08/26/2022 - 01:30
The Dark Side … of the Spoon

Episode 16  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsThere's nothing I like more than a chat with an expert. So many people have vague and uninformed opinions about things, it's good to talk to someone with experience who knows what they're talking about. I can hardly wait.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Who us? Sysadmins? Spend time with other departments?

Fri, 08/12/2022 - 04:15
Oh yes. We'd be only too happy to leave our basement dwelling and frolic among you

Episode 14  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns "And these are the Systems people – Simon and Stephen," the Boss says, leading a smiling man into the office.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Selling the boss on a crypto startup

Fri, 07/29/2022 - 02:28
A little hint from a Helldesk friend is all you need

Episode 14  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns"So what's causing it?" the Boss asks, looking down at his screen.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Would I lie to you, Boss?

Fri, 07/15/2022 - 02:15
Are they going to search your personal laptop? Maybe. The main thing is not to panic...

Episode 13  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsThere's a bit of a panic on at Mission Control.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: HR's gold mine gambit – they get the gold and we get the shaft

Fri, 06/24/2022 - 02:15
If you step outside, you'll find the unicycle for the practical test

Episode 12  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo the Boss has quit and we have to replace him.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Tech helps HR investigate the Boss's devices

Fri, 06/17/2022 - 01:48
We're going to need a corkboard, push pins, red yarn and emails dating back to 2003

Episode 11  The Boss is – not to put too fine a spin on it – crapping himself.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Where do you think you are going with that toner cartridge?

Fri, 05/27/2022 - 02:15
Did that printer service person just sell you 10 overpriced boxes of the wrong paper?

Episode 10  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt is a great morning! The phone has not rung once (and not because the PFY has rebooted the phone server with a DBAN USB stick in it again), the aircon and security system are behaving, and outside the sun is shini-…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: You'll have to really trust me on this team-building exercise

Fri, 05/13/2022 - 02:26
Why shouldn't the stairwell be the preferred location for our fun?

Episode 9  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo I get into the office and immediately I sense a disturbance in the natural order of things – mainly the jarring combination of too much aftershave and an overdose of enthusiasm.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Something's consuming 40% of UPS capacity – and it's coming from the beancounters' office

Fri, 04/29/2022 - 01:30
Under-desk heaters, two small fridges, an entire kitchenette...

Episode 8  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's completely dark in the server room and the building is dead silent.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The evil guide to upgrading switches

Thu, 04/14/2022 - 03:00
Choose your own adventure! Who will win: the Boss or the IT admins? B or B

Episode 7  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's five in the morning and the PFY's at Mission Control making a few changes.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Putting the gross in gross insubordination

Fri, 03/25/2022 - 02:30
If you know the enemy and know yourself, you need not fear the result of 100 battles

Episode 6  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsIt's a law as old as the jungle itself: there comes a time when a young lion will desire the pride-leader's role for himself.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: Gaming rig for your home office? Yeah right

Fri, 03/11/2022 - 01:30
Choose your fighter. BLINK BLINK. It's your friendly operator here …

Episode 5  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns"Hello?" an unenthusiastic voice intones.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: All hail the job cuts consultant

Fri, 02/25/2022 - 02:40
Who is that dashing, mysterious caller that has the Boss sweating so profusely on the Zoom?

Episode 4  BOFH logo telephone with devil's hornsSo the PFY and I are hanging around the boardroom because the Board's Zoom call keeps cutting out.…

<abbr title="Bastard Operator from Hell">BOFH</abbr>: The Geek's Countergambit – outwitted at an electronics store

Fri, 02/11/2022 - 02:15
So top secret even the manufacturer doesn't know about it

Episode 3  BOFH logo telephone with devil's horns

Pages